About a month ago I saw something that made me really think. I was with my girlfriend and her cousin and his girlfriend at a pretty public place. I overheard a woman start to yell at who I assume was her husband. The wife said something along the lines of where the heck have you been?! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! The husband responded very softly that he went to the restroom. She, still yelling, told him that if we was going to wonder off he needed to tell her. Again without raising his voice at all reminded her that he told her and she said okay. The woman looked shocked by this and paused for a second before saying in a harsh tone that it doesn’t matter, he should have made sure she knew. The man hung his head and said okay before they walked off together. Like I said this experience made me think, mainly about how this woman could treat her husband like a six year-old child, and also how this man did not fight back in the slightest.
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When I was younger our family had certain things or traditions that we did for the holidays. Most of the time for thanksgiving we would rotate between going to my Paternal Grandparents and my Maternal Grandparents. For Christmas we did it differently. Christmas Eve night we would go to my Dad's parent's house, eat diner, usually sub sandwiches, have a Christ centered discussion, then exchange presents. We would go home and go to sleep. In the morning my parents had a rule that you couldn't pass the line dividing the wood flooring in the hallway from the carpet in the living room until they were awake. So my sister and I would wake up and sit at that line staring at the presents till it was time. When that time came we would open the presents one by one and then we would eat a big breakfast together. Eventually we would get dressed and drive over to my Mom's Parent's house. There we would eat a dinner or lunch and then exchange presents again. We did this every year for as long as I can remember. This was our tradition, what we did.
In Families there are certain things that you do which is unique from every other family. This is called the Culture of the Family. We all have one, but it isn't until we see another family's culture that we realize it. Some families for Christmas have the entire family over to one house and that is it. Some don't visit family at all. Because you grow up with this culture, it is hard to change it, even if you don't like it or feel it is wrong. That makes dating and marriage do hard. I can't think of a single couple who doesn't at one put get into a disagreement about something. Even a married couple that I met while I was in High School who seemed perfect had one that I knew of. He loved Taco Bell, she did not. It caused slight friction. To ease everyone's mind I'll just say, he eats Taco Bell still, and they are still happy together. Differences of culture can range from something like fast food preference, to how to discipline children. These differences cause tension and hardship, but as a family works together they can over come these. Communication is the key. One way you can get over these differences is by discussing with your significant other familial cultural aspects that you want to carry into your family, and ones you dislike. As you do this with an open mind and with the spirit with you, your family or relationship will come closer together, be more unified and happy. Remember, God cares about what you care about, and with his help you can build a family that will last forever, and one that you want to see every holiday season. If you have any questions about the family, check this link out. https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&cid=PA0414-02 I have been dating my girlfriend since February. So about eight months now. That is a pretty good amount of time. In the LDS culture though a lot of people get married by then, especially if the guy is a returned missionary. We hear all the time the question that goes a little like this: “So…when are you two getting married? You’re engaged right?” Or something along those lines. Our response is usually, we don’t know yet. We want to make sure we know before we jump into one of the biggest decisions of our existence. I like to relate it to my mission.
Before my mission I decided to work for a little while to earn enough money to pay for as much of my mission as I could. A few months before I turned nineteen I started hearing at least ten times a Sunday, “So when are you going on your mission? You are going right?” Ever since I was about two years old I wanted to serve a mission, of course I was going. To be honest though I didn’t feel like it was the right time for me to go yet. Every Sunday the same thing until I was well into my nineteenth year. I was praying, going to church, reading my scriptures, everything I needed to be and waiting for God to tell me now was the time. My answer came in the form of a scripture, it literally said “Now is the time of your mission.” The spirit hit me so strong that I knew without a doubt it was time. I began working right then to go on a mission, and I feel like I went at the exact time I needed to. If I had the choice to change anything, I wouldn't have. I would have done it exactly the same. The same thing I did then with my mission, I am doing now with marriage. I heard once that you can never please the people. They ask “When are you going on a mission?” Then you do that, “When are you getting married?” Then, “When are you having kids?” Then, “When are you going to have another kid.” And so on. It never ends. That is why in our lives we are required to have trust in God. We have to counsel with him and fear him more than man. He knows when we should go on a mission, get married, have kids, whatever it may be. He knows us better than anyone, including ourselves. People have different timelines, that doesn’t mean one is better than the other, just different. Who is to say that someone who met, started dating and got engaged in the span of a month is doing it wrong? Or someone who dates the same person for two years is doing it wrong? God has the final say. We cannot judge. Something that I have learned recently is the danger of being too comfortable. God always gives us new challenges or test or assignments to keep us growing, learning, and uncomfortable. Being comfortable or content isn’t a good thing. We have to grow. Sometimes you can get stuck in the dating phase, not move forward. What I have learned is that while God has a timeline, we have to participate in learning what it is and striving to follow it. Sitting back and watching our life go by is not how God intended us to live. We must be agents, not objects to be acted upon. My advice to you, is to seek revelation, seek God’s plan for you, because he has one, and then live it. And don’t criticize others for having a different one. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.” Isaiah 55:8 Going along with what Elder Randall K. Bennett from the seventy said in this past Priesthood session of General Conference, we need to take the necessary steps to come unto Christ. He talked about how we cannot wait, we cannot procrastinate. We must take this advice and apply it to us now. Though God’s timing for each of us is different, we must not procrastinate knowing what that timing is. Don’t wait, seek that revelation now, especially if it is the biggest decision of your existence. |
3rd Nephi 5:1313 Behold, I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of him to declare his word among his people, that they might have everlasting life. ArchivesCategoriesSimilar BlogsTrentwinn.Blogspot.com
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